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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the magician who could make a full breakfast appear out of nowhere? He has some Trix up his sleeves. :D"

"Lif is too short"

"Whats big, pink, long and my girlfriend hates when I put it in her mouth? Our miscarriage."

"""I don't want this holiday to end mummy!"" ""Don't worry Madeleine, it won't"""

"Me: What does that cloud look like to you? 3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be? 3-year-old: Rain."

"Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please society"

"I saw the expiration date on my condoms They say it takes thousands of years for latex to degrade, but apparently it's been longer than that since I've gotten laid"

"Yesterday I held a door open for a clown... I thought it was a nice jester."

"What's the difference between a horse and a 13 year old boy? The horse knows when I'm grooming him."

"Hedgehogs... Why can't they just share the hedge? One of my favourite jokes to come out of the Edinburgh Comedy festival :-)"