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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the magician who could make a full breakfast appear out of nowhere? He has some Trix up his sleeves. :D"

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"I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don't know anything about cars, but I do know how porn starts off"
"What do you call an aardvark that's good at golf? A paredvark!"
"Being an ugly girl is like being a man......you have to work"
"Ever find yourself masturbating and realize that you've already watched this episode of Trading Spaces?"
"Who's your favorite comedian? Friend: who's your favorite comedian Me:Donald Trump Friend:why? Me:Everybody knows Donald trump is a joke"
"When you'd rather read a book than date a girl ... it's prose over hoes."
"I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is ""love"" but it's actually ""floor"" ."
"Someone asked where I'm from and I said Wisconsin. She got excited, ""Like That '70s Show!"" and I clarified, ""More like Making a Murderer."""
"When I'm on my death bed, I want my last words to be....""I left the diamonds on an Island, look for clues on my Face Book!....."", just to get them to read all the jokes I've posted."