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Joke of the Day

"I remember being about 10 years old & seeing a homeless guy with a dog & I just looked at them both & mumbled, ""Lucky."""

"Why did the Romans build straight roads? So Indians couldn't build corner shops."

"What is the only correct answer to the question 'Are you ticklish?' I have explosive diarrhea."

"Never trust volleyball players with your drinks They might spike 'em."

"Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M"

"Did you hear about the most recent FIFA scandal? Turns out Lionel was a little Messi in his financial records."

"Cowboy . . . and no vet How did the cowboy know his pony was getting sick? He was a little hoarse."

"A German tourist in France. A German tourist arrives at a French airport. Immigration officer asks him: ""Occupation?"" The German replies: ""No, no, just visiting."""

"What do nuns do when they're horny? They cum to Jesus."

"My wife says she is really looking forward to the hotel... But I have my reservations."