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Joke of the Day

"What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ? Reality. I'll show myself out now..."

"Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard? He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills."

"You know you've overplayed Mario Kart 64 when the next morning you Instinctively swerve to avoid a banana skin on the road."

"I was going to look for my missing watch. but I could never find the time."

"I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts."

"What is pink and has seven dents in it? Snow White's virginity."

"I really think Miracle Whip lowered the bar for what constitutes a miracle."

"What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear. I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes."

"TSA Terrorist Profile: male/female, aged 1 to 112, wearing clothes and traveling in US airports."

"Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code"