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Joke of the Day

"I just asked my dad what his favourite part about being a teacher is... He responded with June, July, and August"

"A driver had to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting a midget... ...I guess you can say they made a short stop."

"I pointed to hub's hearing aid and said is that thing on? He said ""yes, I am just trying to figure out what the hell you are saying"""

"If you find yourself in conversation with a stutterer, it is best to shout out ""Reeeeeemix"" and scratch at invisible turntables."

"I like the lack of controversy over the Olympic men's figure skating ""No Need to Ask, We'll Tell!"" policy."

"Why did Pluto miss the solar system party. He didn't planet right"

"The wife's back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the Moon? The food's ok, but it has no atmosphere."

"I was at the park today by the playground. A mother asked me which kid was mine. ""I haven't decided yet.""."

"What do pussy and cigarettes have in common? There's more flavor the closer you get to the butt."