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Joke of the Day
"What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia? A puppy."
Next Joke
"Do you know the difference between a dildo and a chair? No? Watch out where you sit then."
"If there's a god-shaped hole in all of us does that mean our poos come out in god's image?"
"No thanks ""protected account"". You can't trick me into following you! For all I know, you could be a vegan."
"A man didn't like his haircut But it started to grow on him"
"Apparently, you still fail a roadside sobriety test if you just lay down and take a nap."
"[i get a phone call] ""Hi we'd like to talk to you about your tweets"" ME: Wow thank you but I don't do interviews ""This is the police"""
"How do mussels reproduce? They shuck eachother."
"REPORTER: *asks question* POLITICIAN: that's a great question and thank you for asking it *answers a different question*"
"Wanna come back to my place & watch some p0rn on my 60 flat screen mirror?"