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Joke of the Day

"Christmas Presents I told my girlfriend that every time we had sex I would add a dollar to how much i would spend on her christmas present, so far she's getting a McChicken."

"I love that one Reggae song. You know, that one about weed."

"What does the study of magnetism and self abuse have in common? The Right Hand Rule."

"Leading causes of cancer: 1. Smoking 2. Aging 3. Radiation 4. Diet 5. WebMD"

"What do you call it when you get a boner at a funeral? Mourning wood."

"So I was having sex with this girl.. When suddenly she asks me: ""Doesn't it bother you that I'm 13??"" So I replied: ""Not really, I've never been superstitious"""

"The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it."

"Husband: I called my boss ""Honey"" today. Wife: What? Why? H: He was shouting at me and telling me I was wrong, and it just slipped out."

"Just saw a woman talking on a pay phone. It was so disorienting that for a moment I thought I had been transported to 1990."

"Ticket Clerk: Enjoy the film! Me: U too! TC: Really? You'll take me with u? Me: I didn't mean.. TC: Oh, I see Me: I'm sor TC: [sobs] JUST GO"