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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a woman talking on a pay phone. It was so disorienting that for a moment I thought I had been transported to 1990."

"I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today... It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked."

"A good groaner What do you get when you combine an elephant and a poodle? A dead poodle, split in half."

"Don't hesitate when you come to a fork in the road. Be bold. Pick that fork up and take it home. Free cutlery!"

"Where can you find a paraplegic man? Right where you left him."

"My idea of flirting is giving a girl 1 of my 10 tacos."

"Carbs are my starch enemy."

"in hindsight, ms. frizzle taking a bus of children inside of an unsuspecting person was not ok. one of those rascals peed in his body."

"I spotted a machine in a store that read ""It'll do to you what you do to eggs!"" and I'm still trying to figure out what that means. Beats me."

"Just once, I want someone to kick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter."