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Joke of the Day

"I was walking down the street the other day when a man threw some cheddar at me... ... I said ""Well, that's mature!"""

"Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar ? He wanted sweet and sour pork !"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because he's a fucking creep"

"I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario &how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream."

"If your avatar is you in a bikini, but it's the type that stays tiny when you click it, it may as well be turds in the shape of a swastika"

"You're legally allowed to stab anyone whose favorite album is a band's Greatest Hits."

"My friend recently told me he was allergic to blood... I told him he was full of it."

"Clickbait... ... it works everytime!"

"Shout out to the dude who's followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week."