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Joke of the Day

"You're legally allowed to stab anyone whose favorite album is a band's Greatest Hits."

"Donald Trump never seems to answer questions specifically. I guess the questions seem to trump him."

"It's been so long, I think my virginity is growing back."

"What do mathematicians say when they encounter a difficult problem? f(x)"

"I want a woman for our president. Like the one we got for Bill."

"Santa is the ultimate hipster. Works one day a year and spends the rest of the year judging you."

"How does the Terminator lose weight? By counting Kylereese."

"What do you call a zoo enclosure without any change? A nickeless cage."

"The best thing about owning a Smart Car is when it gets dirty, you can just put it in the dishwasher."

"What is Peter Pan on death row? A frying Pan"