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Joke of the Day

"You know what I hate? 1: Typing 2: Hypocrisy 3: Lists"

"I was talking to a man today. He told me his name, ""**B**ernie **A**llen **D**avies."" My **initial** thought was that he was a **BAD** guy!"

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike... My dad was holding me from behind"

"Gay men make sure you're using protection You know: body armor, pepper spray, concealed carry-hand gun, first-aid kit, maybe a flare gun too."

"Let's talk about Sex Baby. I regret you naming our son that. You're a real piece of shit, Tammy."

"Fidel Castro is dead Looks like Keith Richards and the Queen of England are moving on to the finals."

"Well, that's definitely the last time I ever go shopping with my wife... We were on our way home from Tesco this morning and she dropped down dead."

"Why don't vampires go south of the border? Because every time they suck a Mexican's blood, they get the vshits for a month."

"Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for medicine."

"Never underestimate the power of a woman's INTUITION. Some women can recognize game before you even play it."