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Joke of the Day

"I'd be a more productive writer if the machine I use 2 write wasn't also the machine I use 2 find pics of celebrity nipples."

"What did the crop say to the Farmer? Why are you picking on me?"

"What's the difference between a prostitute with irritable bowel syndrome and an epileptic oyster? You have to shuck the oyster between fits."

"I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea... He says he can't complain."

"Why did the jew leave the party early? He had gas."

"Paychecks are like dicks... Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger."

"What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point."

"An American and a Finn are drinking in a bar... After an hour, the American says ""ahh, this is good beer."" The Finn says ""Are we drinking or talking?"""

"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because their sheep can hear zippers."

"Why are vegans so salty? To hide the fact that their food has no flavor."