9565

Joke of the Day

"Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works."

"For a week I've been telling my kid ""If your cough isn't better tomorrow, you're going to the doctor!"" and it finally worked. (She died.)"

"People think i am so incapable of doing anything on my own that even if i commit suicide they would say it was murder."

"I call my bedroom 'The place where the magic happens' because one night a guy locked me in a box and tried to saw me in half."

"How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm? They always have several lairs."

"My dad went to jail this morning... Because he's the jail doctor."

"So, a rapist, a sadist, and a pothead walk into a bar and order a beer... The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive backfield here."""

"Next time someone knocks on your bathroom stall say ""Sorry, I'm with a client."""

"When trying to determine the best place in Charlotte to go for a team building event, go to the White Water Center... It's a no brainer..."

"Q: When do ghosts have to stop scaring people? A: When they lose their haunting licenses."