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Joke of the Day
"What do you give to an owl who is not being himself? A Bowl (B-Owl)"
Next Joke
"[Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved"
"[ouija board] hi grandma, i hope your in heaven and i love you ""..y..o..u..'r..e.."""
"My wife is acting like giving me the silent treatment for four days is a bad thing."
"Did you hear about the man who hit my ex? He gold arrested for animal abuse"
"I have no problem with Capital Punishment in theory.... I just have problems with its execution."
"A good name for a vintage store would be 'Pants Dead People Have Farted In'"
"Got shut down by a 12 year old. Kid: wow you're really good! Me: good at what? :D Kid: Nothing. :l"
"Playing truant from school is like a credit card Fun now pay later !"
"One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom."