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Joke of the Day

"*sets cauldron over crackling fire* *adds lock of his hair* *does magicky stuff* Now love me. **POOF** *my left eyebrow falls off*"

"People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio"

"The best part of Pitbull is he yells out ""MR WORLDWIDE!,"" at the beginning of each of his songs, giving you ample time to change the station"

"What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM? It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care."

"A man called Knock Knock knocks on a door: Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? ..."

"A Chicken and an Egg are sitting in bed. The Egg looks depressed; the Chicken satisfied. Not much of a joke, but it solves which came first."

"What's Adam Sandler's favorite salsa? Medium Pace"

"Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta away!"

"I trust a woman ab as far as I can throw her. Very far. As far as she wants. I'll do anything plz come back to me *cries into pillow*"

"Why did the comedian cross the road? To tell me this joke."