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Joke of the Day

"Hey, Edgar Allen, go ahead and Poe me up another drink! Don't tell me to be quiet, lady! Why are there so many books in this bar?"

"I always buy computers that are black. Generally, they run faster and have a bigger hard drive."

"I buy vodka alone, people give me the ""Enough Vodka?"" look. I buy vodka with 4 kids, people give me the ""Are you sure that's ENOUGH?"" look."

"TIL that a class was taught by the wrong stand in teacher and the students knowingly went along with it. Whoops, wrong sub."

"How could you be pregnant!?!?!?!?! I bought he GOOD dollar store condoms!!!"

"""So you think you can dance."" should be the title of a Lifetime movie about strippers."

"Have you seen the world's biggest thermometer? I hear it's fair in height"

"I'm having a hard time... contrtolling my erections."

"What do you give an octomom for mother's day? A spatula. Maybe she'll be more responsible making dinner than making babies."

"I spend more time on twitter than I do in church. I'd rather vent to imaginary friends on the Internet than to imaginary friends in the sky."