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Joke of the Day

"What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle? ""Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise."""

"I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be."

"me: ""i re-wrote pulp fiction"" director: ""wow ok"" [reads script] ""this is literally just pulp fiction"" me: ""i didnt say it was different"""

"Some day, Canada will take over the world. And then we'll all be sorry."

"What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust? A cow can't be milked for 70 years."

"What did the Amish IT guy say about the computer? It was a bit buggy."

"Did you hear what sandy did to New Jersey? A few billion dollars worth of improvements"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side."

"My superhero name is Typoman. I am the writer of wrongs."

"I didn't believe my friend when he told me who the Canadian Prime Minister was... turns out it was Trudeau."