181945

Joke of the Day

"I didn't believe my friend when he told me who the Canadian Prime Minister was... turns out it was Trudeau."

"I don't understand why I keep getting denied for bank loans because I have good credit & I'm only asking to borrow like four or five banks."

"I hope Jeb Bush wins the primaries Then takes Dick Cheney as his running mate. There campaign slogan would be ""same dick, new bush."""

"Who made Lewis and Clark's footwear? Sock-a-gawea."

"What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say? ""I feel a bit overdressed."""

"I'm kind of a workplace bad boy. Once I called a dude 'fuckface' in a job interview. Then I didn't even give him the job."

"You eat what (phonetic joke)? Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who?"

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaay"

"[god to lions] You will be the symbol of power and prestige [sees the crickets] Ew. Uh...you guys just yell real loud when a comedian bombs"

"Found this in r/funny ""When I said to nuke the Chinese, I meant to put the takeout in the microwave!"""