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Joke of the Day

"Acne and the Priest What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne doesn't cum on your face until you are 13"

"Have you ever tasted traditional Ethiopian food? Neither have they. I'll show myself out."

"here's a business idea: a bed that is bigger than the biggest size bed we have currently"

"Him: I know your secret Me:*nervously sweating, remembering my Netflix history* Yeah? H: You killed someone M: *relieved* Oh, haha. Yep"

"Who Makes More Money, A Prostitute Or A Drug Dealer? A prostitute. Because a prostitute can always wash her crack and resell it."

"The only thing left for CNN to do is drop Wolf Blitzer in the Indian Ocean and see how long it takes to find him."

"[Arouses Suspicion] Suspicion: I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"People say that money is not the key to happiness... ...but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers"

"*psst... ok ok be quiet... ssshhh...* uhhh... how do you sell a duck to a deaf guy? WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?! Uh... This joke isn't as good written down :-("

"Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns? They always take things literally."