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Joke of the Day

"What did the 2 tampons say to each other? Nothing because they were both stuck up cunts."

"I tried making jokes about fat people ... but none of them worked out."

"Held a newborn baby, was asked if I wanted one. Laughed & laughed all the way to the bar, where I can go because I don't have a baby. So no."

"And Jesus said unto his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross. Don't touch my fucking Easter eggs, i'll be back on Monday."

"Lady:(standing in the middle of a busy street) Officer can you tell me how to get to the Hospital? Officer: Just stand where you are!!!"

"The word ""fireplace"" really reveals the creativity of our ancestors."

"What do you call an Egyptian surprise attack? A Tut offensive."

"Me: I can't live like this anymore, I need to start eating healthier. Also Me: I couldn't decide between nuggets or a burger so I got both."

"[Fixed] They say when you shave it, it grows back thicker. That explains what happened to those pounds my wife ""shaved off."""

"Did you hear about the country adopting a ""Get to it Later"" policy? I guess you could say it's a procrasti-NATION"