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Joke of the Day

"I've seen a lot of great photos of babies in my life, so if you want my like on Facebook you better bring it."

"A beaver was praying to God, and said... Oh goddammit"

"How much salt does Jihadi John have on his chips? Just a Daesh."

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheburg."

"I dated a girl that wore a mood ring. When happy it would be a pretty blue colour. When she was mad it made a big oval mark on my forehead."

"My dishwasher has racks on racks I'm not talking about the machine"

"A man was marched to an atm, and made to take out $300. Thats the last time he forgot his wifes birthday."

"What does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced? A buck-an-ear"

"I took up guitar lessons recently. It's pretty simple, really. Unless the song requires the blue button."

"What do you call ham that feels better? Cured ham."