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Joke of the Day
"Based on how much my bones and joints pop when I work out, I'm pretty sure I'm 80% rice krispies."
Next Joke
"You don't need a parachute to skydive... You need it to skydive twice."
"I identify as an employee wherever I go. Now I can use any bathroom I need to."
"The worst part about online dating is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140."
"How did Moses make his tea?"
"What's black and white and red all over? Battleship Potemkin"
"What's the one knot I can tie with my butt? A noose"
"I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit."
"Where is the 'L' in christmas? There is noel"
"what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass? Jurassic Pork Ill show^myself^out"