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Joke of the Day

"*barber hands me the mirror to check the back* ""Looks good!"" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly"

"My library charges me a dollar for every book I check out. It's a paper-view."

"Why were all the other vegetables afraid of celery? because celery stalks"

"Why don't they teach sex ed and drivers ed at the same time in Mexico? Because it's too hard on the donkey."

"Clown Plays cruel joke on Black Guy Black guy get bashed over the head with a powered sock!"

"Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an ""I"" Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an ""I"". Always put 'am' after an ""I"". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

"What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles? A candle-nah-brah"

"/u/username goes to the grocery store.... username checks out."

"How will you know your sister has period? When you taste blood in your father's dick"

"I can't decide which room not to clean first."