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Joke of the Day

"My library charges me a dollar for every book I check out. It's a paper-view."

"Is it safe for Ryan Gosling to wink at a girl that's already pregnant or does it like, poke the baby?"

"For some reason, my girlfriend asked how I view lesbian relationships... Apparently ""in HD"" was the wrong answer..."

"Why do gay guys like rotisserie chicken? They like the way the meat spins"

"What's the only difference between a near sighted and a far sighted gynecologist ? A wet nose."

"Why'd the pervert cross the road? He couldn't pull out of the chicken"

"I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!"

"We have it so good in America that once a year we voluntarily do migrant work and call it apple picking."

"Someone called me selfish and then paused as if they expected me to argue."

"""Hot damn!"" - the Nazi's probably after their dams were destroyed. I don't know; I'm not a historian. It's just an educated guess."