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Joke of the Day

"How do you know you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac tells you ""Let's just be friends."""

"A horse walks into a police station Policeman says ""Why the long face?"" Horse replies ""I've just witnessed a murder"" [True story](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834)"

"How do you keep brown bears off your property? Build a wall"

"There were 2 cows in a field and one says ""mooo"" and the other says... ""I was going to say that"""

"How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No"

"as punishment, the townspeople force me to wear a prominent, scarlet letter ""A"", which stands for ""a big piece of shit who loves crime"""

"Oh, some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?"

"Remember when you were a kid and the teacher said you can be anything you want to be? Luckily I chose lower middle class and overweight."

"Whats the difference between blowing an Asian and a Caucasian. The only Asian thing that will touch the throat is the sperm."

"Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much? Because they did not have proper tea."