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Joke of the Day
"Two guys playing poker. One guy not doing anything. Why? He was cardboard."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about Princess Diana on the radio? and the windshield.. and the dashboard...."
"Just welled up with tears listening to Cheers opening theme song in case you didn't know what PMS feels like."
"There are no winners in life ...only survivors."
"Bad news A doctor says to his patient: 'I'm afraid I've got bad news for you. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's disease'. The patient responds: 'Well, at least I don't have cancer'."
"To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying"
"Warning to friends: If you piss me off I'll put a for sale sign in my yard and list your phone number to call for inquiries."
"Oh, I'm just in the bathroom stall, standing on the toilet. So yeah, it's 4/20 & I'm totally high on pot."
"What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron."
"Lady: How old's your son? Me: He's 3. Lady: Wow, he has great hand eye coordination. Me: You should see him play Grand Theft Auto, he sucks"