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Joke of the Day

"Warning to friends: If you piss me off I'll put a for sale sign in my yard and list your phone number to call for inquiries."

"What do you call a guy who's rolling around in the grass early in the morning? Dewy"

"CW: I think you're two-faced Me: Why don't you say that to my face CW: I just did! Me: No. My other face."

"What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry? They've both been known to blow a little dope."

"Where did the Japanese watch their movies in WWII The Pacific Theatre"

"Statically, 1 in every 10 people live next to a pedophile. Not me though, I live next to a little boy with a fat ass"

"Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are ""woven"" together? Sigourney ""Weaver"" :P"

"In honor of the Vikings/Packers game on Saturday... How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you? They grit their tooth at you."

"You can chew on the end of the pencil But you can't erase the tooth."

"What do you call Nightwing in a coffin? Dick in a box."