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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face."

"I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag."

"What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Who eats parsley?"

"Ruth wasn't invited to the party. The people at the party were ruthless."

"Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked."

"I didn't really want to go to the seafood buffet... ...but I just went for the halibut"

"A man is traveling to the coast of South Western Asia, and he asks his friend if she wants to go with him. She says: ""Yemen, shore."""

"I heard you guys like nooses..... We should hang together!!"

"If Amy Poehler was a cold front.... She'd be the Poehler Vortex"

"What do you call the sweat between two rednecks making love? Relative humidity."