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Joke of the Day

"Hey Dad, The airport called, if you don't turn down your TV, they're filing a complaint."

"Pee pressure > peer pressure"

"A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran."

"I went to see my doctor to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up."

"I know the rule: if you're dreaming and you're about to pee, wake up! But last night I found myself about to pee on Emma Watson, and man, I just had to see where that one was going."

"So, A Helium Molecule walks into a bar... the bartender says ""we don't serve don't serve noble gases here."" It Doesn't React!"

"All of the world's natural disaster met to decide which one was the worst. Avalanche won by a landslide."

"I'm terrible at directions Fuck me, left!"

"I used to play checkers with my dad but he would always beat me. Probably because I would always win at checkers."

"Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX? A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with."