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Joke of the Day

"My father said his Computer crashed... I asked him, what he did. ""I googled 'Malaysian Airlines'"", he replied."

"How do you kill a German? Put them in front of a red light in the middle of the desert."

"What is the best part of having Alzheimer's? You`re always meeting new people."

"When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter."

"Where does Phil Collins record all of his music? The stu-stu-studio."

"The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number."

"A crocodile goes to the doctor.. It turns out the crocodile was suffering from ereptile dysfunction."

"Did you hear what happened to Lithium? He was arrested for battery charges. Some say he's bi-polar."

"What does a dog do, that a man steps into. Pants."

"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""