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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a commercial for ""affordable napkins"" and now I feel stupid for buying all these diamond-encrusted ones."

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? Unlawful is against the law, whereas illegal is a sick bird. Note: This obviously works better when told than read."

"How do you say hello to a femnist? You don't. To do so would violate her wish to not be part of the society she lives in."

"I was writing a book about Abortion Sadly it never delivered."

"Why are Canadian Jews so poor? Because there are no pennies to pick up off the ground."

"What is a blonde's favorite fairy tale? Humpme Dumpme!"

"If you keep laughing then you'll always have the last laugh."

"Every year I got an accident by passing the road on 1st April Cause, I thought that Traffic signal try to make me April fool."

"""I think this cereal has gone bad."" *me drunk, eating Meow Mix*"

"What does a farsighted gynecologist have in common with a puppy dog? They both got a wet nose."