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Joke of the Day

"What did Donkey Kong say when Mario asked him for help for some schoolwork? ""I D K"""

"[Starbucks intercom] ""Will the man that ordered the Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte please pick up your drink. No one is looking."""

"Chivalry is just the study of green onions right?"

"Last night I tried to go out for an Italian Meal, but there was a huge, fat woman standing in the doorway. I couldn't get pasta."

"What if sun screen is really just a seasoning rub created by aliens."

"I typed something into Google on my phone then held it to my ear. I felt stupid at first, but now I'm kinda mad that that doesn't work."

"[interviewing for job as assassin] Me: I only have 1 rule Interviewer: lemme guess. No women or kids Me: huh? No, I just won't work weekends"

"Two penguins were sitting in bathtub... The first penguin says to the second penguin ""Hey, could you pass me the soap?"" The second penguin says ""What do I look like, *a radio?*"

"I used to copy Mitch Hedberg jokes and post them here. I still do, but I used to too..."

"Two wolves are chasing a Golden Retriever through the forest. After an hour, the first wolf says to the second wolf, ""Ain't this a bitch?"" To which the second wolf responds, ""It had better be""."