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Joke of the Day

"I've always taught my children that no matter what race or religion, all good looking people deserve respect."

"This joke is like a Jamaican barbershop... Dreadful"

"Brought a ninja to a gunfight and it was really cool. Everyone clapped. Then they shot him."

"Why did Hitler really kill himself because he couldn't pay his gas bill"

"can you start monday at 8? ""yes, thank you for the opportunity"" [calls new boss at his home on sunday night] hello? ""am or pm?"""

"How can you call it love when you're crying more than smiling."

"This woman I met last night says she wants a guy who is ""spontaneous and fun"". Yet when I tapped on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it is all panic and screaming."

"How do you turn lead into gold? Start a war."

"Carrying a warm burrito in the big front pocket of my sweatshirt is the closest I'll ever come to understanding motherhood."

"What do you say when you see three whales? Whale whale whale, what do we have here?"