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Joke of the Day

"[Morgan Freeman narrating my life] *extended period of silence* ""What the hell am I supposed to do with this..."""

"Excuse me - can you tell me the way to the Staten Island Ferry? Thpeaking."

"My friend Oscar told a joke to Leo Di Caprio. He didn't get it."

"People keep comparing the election to Empire Strikes Back or Revenge Of The Sith... Personally I would have gone with The Star Wars Christmas Special"

"My first joke here and an original! Did you hear about the two lawyers who set up shop under the old oak tree? I heard it was a pretty shady business."

"I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Might not kill him but he'll never have any friends."

"UCLA opened a new campus coffee shop It's called ""Brewins"""

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By broom ... JK, rolling"

"How do you spell Canada in Canadian? C, eh! N, eh!, D, eh!"

"What does D.N.A stand for? National Dyslexic Association"