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Joke of the Day

"I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Might not kill him but he'll never have any friends."

"Did you hear about the kind and humble Jew that donated a lot of money to charity? Neither did I."

"My girlfriend bought me a bowling ball the other day. She thought i wouldn't like it but, It was right up my alley!"

"my son would be amazed if I showed him a first generation iPod because we've never met"

"""That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. I WILL BITE YOU!"" --Cats"

"I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I'm going to be too busy sitting on mine"

"How did the jury find the hamburger? Grill-ty as charred!"

"What do fat women get for valentines day? Depressed."

"I like to steal other peoples' Viagra... It's a real dick move, I know."

"Instead of the Maternity Ward they should have called it the New Releases section."