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Joke of the Day

"Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them."

"What do you call a black gynecologist? A gynecologist, you racist bastard!"

"Two guys walk into a bar One guy says, 'I'd like some H2O.' The other guy says, 'I'd like some H2O, too.' The second guy died. The bartender is a chemist."

"What do you call a near-empty bag of cereal? Luckily Charms"

"Have you heard of the American Philosophical Association? I'm not sure if it exists or not and neither are they."

"The other day me and my transgender mate Dave saw a bundle of mosquitoes eating several trout..... Dave asked - ""How did they get them ?"" I said - "" fly fishing"" and yes he is transgender."

"What do you call a drug dealer in a strip club A hardened criminal"

"Screenwriters, you know that script you're working on that's a mix between 2 brilliant films? Well it isn't and I'd like a grande soy latte."

"Which actor is best suited for a programmer role? Dev Patel."

"If you meet someone who believes obesity is genetic, there is a 100% chance they've consumed a #3 at McDonald's in the past 24 hours."