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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a near-empty bag of cereal? Luckily Charms"

"What do you call it when a horse punches you really hard? A neigh-maker"

"Using my son's raincoat as a hat so my hair doesn't get messed up. He's doing the cutest little shivers!"

"Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school? Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself."

"A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says,""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"What does a physics cow say? "

"I really wish my twitter crush would scream out my name instead of 'hey you' every time he catches me in the tree in his front yard."

"I have the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from the local zoo"

"What's the difference between a gynecologist and a pedophile music teacher? The teacher fucks his singers, the gyno sucks his fingers."

"Why wouldn't the four month old African stop crying? He was going through a midlife crisis"