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Joke of the Day
"Why doesn't George R.R. Martin have Twitter? Because he would just kill off all 140 characters."
Next Joke
"How did Reggie Rocket's brother die? Otto Erocket Asphyxiation"
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the P is silent!"
"All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental."
"My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure. So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die."
"Non-Americans may get this. Waterboarded."
"Just ran into Bjork walking into her hjotel. Ljoking fjorward to her show at Pitchfjork tjonight (hjoly shit my Icelandic is pjerfect)."
"Whats Fred Flintstones favorite drug? Crack Rock."
"Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is."
"""So send me a picture of you..."" *sends* ""Look I need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever."""