94074

Joke of the Day

"I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge."

"Pretty sure Google has this master plan of taking over the world by blackmailing everyone with their search history."

"[First date] Me: ""So, what do you do?"" Date: ""I'm a librarian."" Me: ""Oh, my bad."" *Whispers for the entire rest of the date*"

"Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone. All I did was edit his mom's contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls."

"How do you make pickle bread? With dill dough"

"British humor A cop walks into a bar responding to a call about a youngster making a ruckus. He asked the young lad ""just what are ya getting on with lad?"" The lad responds,"" none of yobishness mate"""

"Growing a beard is the closest I've come to caring for an animal."

"Pedophile Jokes? I got 3: If they can cross the street they can take the meat. If they can pee they're old enough for me. I'm like a game boy, kids turn me on. You guys got any others?"

"Sugar - Honey - Iced - Tea ... Guess what it means."

"How ""thoughts of suicide"" became an acceptable drug side effect: ""How do you feel?"" ""I kind of want to kill myself."" ""Ok."""