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Joke of the Day

"How ""thoughts of suicide"" became an acceptable drug side effect: ""How do you feel?"" ""I kind of want to kill myself."" ""Ok."""

Next Joke
 
"I have a weird quirk when watching Star Wars I wait for when someone is going to yell, ""R2!"" and yell out ""Am not!"""
"Why does my 2yo insist on looking homeless when we leave the house?"
"Have you heard the one about the ceiling fan? Oh, it's over your head."
"""What are you doing? Are you writing down everything I'm saying?! IS THIS GONNA BE A SONG?!?!"" -anyone dating Taylor Swift"
"My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark."
"Why is the Force like duct tape? It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together."
"I farted on the bus today and four people turned around. I actually felt like I was on the voice."
"[throws dirty diaper away] - OMG WHAT R U DOING?! - it's gross im not touching that - GET THE BABY OUT OF THE TRASH & CHANGE IT! - ugh, fine"
"No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler."