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Joke of the Day

"You know what a Walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal"

"I can almost always tell when a movie doesn't use real zombies."

"Did you hear about the basketball player that fell in love with a midget? He was nuts over her!"

"""To be is to do"" - Socrates. ""To do is to be"" - Nietzsche. ""Do be do be do"" - Sinatra. ""Beep beep beep"" - R2D2."

"What did the town say to it's father, the city, when it left to get groceries Ciudad"

"Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck? He was trying to bust a move"

"They say it's amazing what we can achieve if we all put our heads together But if I could put my heads together, I'd never leave my room"

"So a woman's eye fell out of her socket and landed in the middle of her breast. ""BOOBS-eye!"" she said."

"I don't care how hardcore you are. If you don't cry when Dumbo visits his mommy in elephant jail, you have no soul."

"My parents tried to abort me but I was still born."