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Joke of the Day

"My parents tried to abort me but I was still born."

"Why don't astronauts take anything seriously? They don't grasp the gravity of the situation..."

"A boy asks his mother a question Boy: ""Mom, why's my cousin named Jasmine?"" Mom: ""That's because your aunt likes flowers."" Boy: ""Mom, what do you like?"" Mom: ""Oh, be quiet Richard"""

"First guy to do anal was very popular... He was much sod after."

"What do you call it when a gangster accidentally kills a fellow gang member? Homiecide"

"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Choked."

"How did the Jewish man take advantage of the wasted girl at the bar? He had her pay his tab!"

"Joe is getting ready his Batman impression... So he decides to show his friend Bob. ""Hey Bob, wanna see a Batman impression?"" ""Okay."" ""NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"" ""That's Superman."" ""Thanks Bob!"""

"People always tell me to be the change that I want to see in the world, but I can't seem to get any whiter."