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Joke of the Day

"*Looks around nervously* The steam from my pasta is ungluing my chest hair toupee and the other mafia bosses are taking notice."

"The ""walk of shame"" should be going to a bar the next morning after being drunk looking for your lost debit card."

"Sheryl Crow: This ain't no disco. This ain't no country club either. Sheryl Crow - The world's worst archaeologist."

"What does a virgin eat for breakfast? Has it been that long (Depending on the audience, it may be important to complete with a comedic pause and) ... ... since breakfast?"

"Web Designer: ""Making my shit responsive, is a pain in the ass"" friend who is a web designer dropped that ""gem""."

"Why did the medium cross the road? To get to The Other Side! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

"I wish my name was Grudge. This way my wife would hold on to me forever."

"Drummers always have such lame jokes... I've heard them all like a Zildjian times."

"Guys, if you have to point your toes to put your pants on, those aren't your pants. Give them back to your sister."

"Ok parents who have really clean houses, do you have outdoor pets and outdoor kids? How does this work?"