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Joke of the Day

"JESUS: everyone loves me GABRIEL: wat about judas GOD: o snap JESUS: dad GOD: u've just been... JESUS: dont do this GOD: TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL"

"Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking? They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it."

"When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris."

"I went for a job at NASA yesterday. Everything was going well until they asked me what my ambitions were. I replied, ""The sky's the limit!"" and they told me to fuck off!"

"What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween? Pump Kin."

"Is anyone else disappointed about the new CEO of reddit? Such a re-post."

"MOM DON'T COME IN!! *mom opens door & you're playing with pokemon, except they're real* HOW MUCH OF THE TRUTH ARE YOU READY TO HEAR MOM"

"learning from mistakes is for people who recognise that they make mistakes. i dont give a shit"

"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will get this."

"What do you call a shooting at a Mexican golf course? A hole in Juan"