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Joke of the Day

"It's a sad day when you watch National Geographic and realize oysters have a better sex life than you."

"What did the baby corn say? what did the baby corn say to momma corn? where is popcorn."

"9: Daddy, wanna hear something cool? Me: Sure! 9: *tells story* Me: Ok, well clearly we need to work on how you define ""something cool""."

"If my pizza delivery guy isn't blasting Lionel Richie's ""Hello"" from his car when he rings my doorbell, I make him go back and start over."

"I'm extremely grateful that spiders don't scream back."

"I'll never forget the words of my late Grandfather... ""Sorry I'm late."""

"I used to be afraid of flying in planes But nowadays I insist on one."

"I've never heard a good joke about islam... They've all been a bit shiite"

"""Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"""

"Kinda scared for 2015 .. Kinda scared for 2015 because 2+0+1+5 is 8. The exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 6 more nipples."