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Joke of the Day

"I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all. Turns out I have selfie-steam issues"

"What did the man say to the priest at the beach? Do you mind getting out of my son."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"What's pirates' favourite meme? Ayy lmao"

"twitter has a very ""high school class where the teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes"" vibe"

"Is there some organization that evaluates the quality of shea butter? Because if so, it could have Fifty Grades of Shea."

"I bet Lincoln is looking down like ""dude, trust me, that is not a bad night in a theater"""

"How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aladdin ! Aladdin who ? Aladdin the street wants a word with you !"

"So embarrassed... ...thought sombody cute was staring at me so i stared back. But then i realized we were both just the negative space around a vase"