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Joke of the Day
"Just blew my nose so hard that it got down on one knee & proposed."
Next Joke
"What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my van."
"Dad I'm gay *Dad rips newspaper* ""WHAT"" I like guys dad ""Oh thank god. I thought you were happy for a second"""
"What's the diffrence between a Chickpea and a Gorbanzo bean? I woun't pay a 100 bucks for a Gorbanzo bean on my face."
"I asked my dad what the deadliest weapon known to man is. He said 'you came out of it'."
"if i'm bleeding out in an alley & you approach me w/an app that would save me, but i'd have to login using facebook, i'd be fine w/just dyin"
"When I steal a sweater it's called theft but when a girl does it, it's a sign of affection"
"NSFW: I just realized that I've never been with a black or middle eastern girl... So I added them to my fuckit list."
"Lions sleep 18 hrs a day.. If hard work is the secret to success , then donkeys would have been the kings of jungle!"
"[TRIGGER WARNING] If I had a dollar for every gender... I would have 2 dollars."