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Joke of the Day

"A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer."

"Did you know that if you put your ear on Beethoven's tombstone you can hear his music in reverse? He's de-composing! Heard that one on the radio this morning."

"I wish I could play little league again. I'd be so much better now."

"I requested a wish that money can't buy. MH370"

"(Very blue/dirty) What's the difference between regular blood and period blood? You can't eat normal blood with a fork."

"Why are vegetarians good in giving head? Because they are used to eating nuts!"

"Don't move leaves without their permission... That's rake."

"What is the British equivalent of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am? ""Honey!"" [Nut] ""Cheerio!"""

"Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out"

"I just found out I stayed in the same hotel room as royalty. The dope left his bible behind"