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Joke of the Day

"(Very blue/dirty) What's the difference between regular blood and period blood? You can't eat normal blood with a fork."

"How did the pedophile pianist get caught? He accidentally let people hear him playing in D-minor."

"If the Avada Kedavra curse was invented by a Muslim wizard or by a Jewish wizard It would be called the ""Islama Kedavra"" curse or the ""Avada Judahvra"" respectively."

"A good way to know if your girlfriend is a lizard is if she eats a bunch of crickets or small birds"

"what did cinderella do when she got to the ball? gag..."

"Reporter got asked about any survivors of a plane crash & said 'its up in the air'. Dude if it was up in the air we wouldn't be in this mess"

"So a bum asked me for same change... A homeless man asked me for some change today. I said to him, ""Sorry, pal. You should know better than me that no one in this place has got _innocence_."""

"Sad Dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"The Wicked Witch swings a light saber at Obi-Wan just as he throws a water balloon at her. All anyone finds later are piles of clothes."

"God invented co-workers to remind us that dying alone wouldn't be such a bad thing."