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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth? A gummy bear."

"*pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong."

"Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle? Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face yes."

"Have you ever smelled mothballs before? How did you get the little legs apart?"

"Study what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Because nobody is hiring in your field."

"I'm so hungry that I can eat a Centaur"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar.... And a table.....then some chairs..."

"Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof? Because he wanted to feel his oats!"

"My friend bought a stone mirror. It reflects poorly on him."

"I was addicted to porn... ...but then I beat it."