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Joke of the Day
"What kind of container is appropriate for noble gases? An innertube."
Next Joke
"How do you become invisible? Get a child and then perform sex-altering surgery. Then you become a transparent."
"A Chinese couple, Jane and Jack Wong, was killed by the White Walkers but never came back to life .. .. because ""two wongs don't make a wight [1]"" [1] http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Wights"
"Sometimes I think I have the worst job in the world... ... and then I remember there are people who work in PR for Comcast."
"How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. But he has to check it 100 times one for each watt."
"Meanwhile, at the bar: Batman: ""Whisky."" Aquaman: ""Appletini."" ""WHAT?"" ""It's vodka, apple schnapps..."" ""You're off the Justice League."""
"Guys with huge dongs are just compensating for their tiny cars."
"My wife doesn't like communism jokes. I capitalize on'em."
"[In this tweet spoons fall in love harder than anyone] ""My darling I am a spoon for you, you fill my world with frogs"" [and frogs are joy]"
"How is masturbation and brain damage similar? A few strokes and there's no going back."